Connor and Dan’s story
Connor and Dan adopted Mia, now aged three, with Coram.
The couple adopted their son Harry, now aged nine, through their local authority, in 2013.
Three years after the adoption, they were contacted by their social worker with the news that Harry’s birth mother was pregnant again and that there was a possibility the couple could adopt for a second time.
“We had always wanted to have another child but we didn’t want to rock the boat with Harry, and we wanted to keep things stable for him as he had such an unstable life beforehand. - Connor
“But then when a birth sibling comes along, our thinking was that that child is going to be part of our lives regardless, it doesn’t matter, whether we parent them or not, they are going to be our child because they are our son’s sibling. So we said yes we want to know more and we started proceedings.”
Days after baby Mia was born she went into emergency foster care. She was in the care of a local authority who work in partnership with Coram to recruit and assess adopters. Connor and Dan were temporarily approved as foster carers to Mia whilst being assessed to become her adoptive parents.
The adoption went through on Mia’s first birthday, in 2017. Connor says that Mia joining the family has been very positive for Harry. He says: “It completed his story a little bit. For him it showed he wasn’t the only one that his birth mother rejected and couldn’t cope with. It was also a connection to his birth mother. We’ve always been very open in talking about their history and where they came from and their adoption, but he never quite got it. Until Mia came along and it became real. He loved her instantly and helped him get a sense of who he is.”
Connor and Dan would advise others considering adoption to go for it: “Take that first step, make that first phone call and start the process and see how you get on. It’s absolutely worth it. And for any LGBT+ adopters considering adoption, don’t think you’ll be prejudiced against - at no point have we come up against any prejudice and we were welcomed with open arms.”
“Our lives have changed so much for the better – I don’t think we would be as happy as we are now without our children. They have made our lives complete.” - Connor