Jane is a single adoptive mother to five-year-old Callum. She speaks about her experiences of becoming a mum and how her support network has helped.
“I have always wanted to adopt, since I was very young. I wanted to be mum but had a sense that this didn’t need to be biologically.
“I met a Coram social worker at my church and then attended an adoption event for potential black adopters at the Black Cultural Archives. I knew I needed to make some changes to prepare for adoption so I decided to go for it.
“Callum’s heritage is the same as mine so we have lots of children’s books about Jamaica, it’s in the food we eat and the way we cook, the dialect in my wider network and the way we live our lives. He loves cooking Jamaican food, so it hasn’t required anything too different as it is part of my upbringing, family, my network. It is more about involving Callum in a child-centred way so that he also understands his heritage.
“We went to Jamaica for a holiday, we have maps on our wall so we talk a lot about different countries. He loved the whole thing of the flight and being in Jamaica. He loved the scenery, the sea, the hills and the kids club because he said he wanted to make friends.
“I have a really strong support structure around us. From the school, the teachers, social workers and others. My family are also incredibly important to us. We have different family WhatsApp groups. My sisters are both teachers, so any concerns about Callum’s school I can go straight to them. One of my sisters lives with us.
“When I compare my network now to as far back as my assessment in 2021, most people are still the same, I have a good balance of friends with and without children. I have a friend who has a daughter slightly older than Callum – and they get on really well. I also have a male friend who visits me a lot and loves spending time with Callum. My parents are also very supportive, we regularly go there for Sunday lunch and Callum sometimes stays over with them. It also means that if you have that solid network you can make time for yourself which is so important.
“If anyone is thinking about adoption, I’d say ‘go for it’! Do your research, ask questions, make sure it is viable for you. Make sure your family understands what adoption means. For example I bought all my family members a book, which illustrates the varying issues a child coming from care can have. But also balance the theory you’re learning through the adoption training with the real stories that you only get by talking to real adoptive families.
“It is hard work but it is a joy and privilege to be his mum.”
“It is a privilege and a joy to be Callum’s mum. One of my passions is photography. And now Callum has his own camera, so we both have cameras and take pictures. His pictures are so good and there is even a little competition! I also see some things of me in him. For example, phrases I use, and little quirks or gestures in our family. He is now doing the same. So I can see he is settling in and becoming more of himself. He is just, such a joy, he is such a lovely boy and I love him so much.”
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